As everyone I have days that are just bad days. Sometimes I write on those days. I like writing a lot.
Reading what i wrote can be really painful, sometimes the feeling i had while writing comes flashing back. I want to share one short piece of text i wrote. It’s about the reason I don’t deserve to feel better.
I am not sure I deserve anything at all. The thing that makes me ‘deserve’ anything is that for all I envy I suffer at least twice as much.
It are two simple lines. I know it is not true, yet even when I don’t feel bad I can’t seem to help but agree with the lines, at least a tiny bit. And it’s stupid, for everyone deserves to feel good. Especially if you have right intentions and you act right. Envy is not nice and often connected to self doubt. Feelings of unhappiness. But those are feelings that can arise when you have a bad day. And that’s okay. Envy the shit out of everything, but do it in a way that makes you set goals for yourself. Realistic goals that is. And change the envy in motivation, be happy for others and be grateful. The only person you should compare yourself to, ever, is YOU!0